bible study
We gather together, week after week. Pouring in one by one, some bravely stepping in, some barely making it out the door, some unsure if they can even do this…just the being here after everything that’s ravaged and rampaged from the week, or month, or year. Maybe we nervously sip coffee, a couple of us asking if there’s cocoa because there’s no chai – the Western coffee sippers and the African chai drinkers colliding – all wondering who do I know, or who should I talk to, as we shift from one woman to another not yet knowing who we can fully trust, but wanting someone please, anyone, to just get me. Does she? Or her? What about them over there?
One’s covered in long, dark, glorious braids. Another lets her wispy red bangs hang down this week. We didn’t know she had bangs in the first place. Another bears her beautiful light-skinned head after a recent shave. Still others are crowned with messy mom buns; locks they claim are getting unhealthy; long wavy hair laced with dry shampoo because who has time to shower every day? Not us. We laugh at the fact that we can all /relate to at least that. Anything else?
The small talk continues.
Kiddos, jobs, missions and ministry, start of school, the balancing act of it all. Recent camping trips and child tantrums. Funny things our husbands said. Finally starting ladies’ soccer… ‘You should join!’ Munching on delicious cookies perhaps pondering, will my snack turn out as good as hers next week? Another comparison game fighting to emerge while we also search for true acceptance, even if our muffins don’t turn out perfectly and we show up late and we don’t do our homework and we snapped at our better halves as we rushed out the door to Bible study for goodness sake.
But then the pockets of circles slowly merge into one, collectively joining for what we all want, deep down after all. Or at least what we know we need.
Someone prays, and we start. Deep, shaky breaths as we release the struggles gripping our hearts and seek to truly listen. Oh Lord, what would you have from me? Do you see me here? Could I please have more of you? Am I worthy of that answer? Will this be a safe space to ask all these questions in vulnerability?
Thin pages open up, crinkly marks and notes and underlines from the years of pouring over truths, praying for that Word of truth to pour over our souls and fill in the cracks. We share with one another, and we remind one another what it’s all for. Who it’s all for. ‘Oh yes sister, me too.’ Or ‘sister, I can’t imagine. I do, however, know Someone who can. He won’t leave you alone in it. But, I’m so very very sorry.’
Emotions are shared –
Overwhelm. Anxiety. Anger. Distraction. Exhaustion. Depression. Doubts. Learning to trust. To release control. To hold on to something better. Something steady through the storms. In the big ones and, ya know, in the littles ones too that don’t ever really seem so little.
Some are not fully ready to bare their souls. And we acknowledge, that’s ok. Maybe we will get there soon. But maybe some of us won’t ever get there in this particular group, but will you know I’m still praying for you when no one is looking? Will you know that one of us saw your exhausted look as you walked in last week, so we quietly interceded for you, still a stranger we barely know?
We pick up from where we left off last Thursday. “To live is Christ and to die is gain.” Jesus, oh precious Jesus, let it be so amongst us.
And we dive in to His living Word seeking His truth to infiltrate our lives, together.
3 Comments
דירות דיסקרטיות ברמת גן
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נערות ליווי
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